Let's take a closer look at your nice expression of regret and longing.
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Finally, the saddest part of your posting was the end. Most men do too, they just don't admit it.
Good luck but try not to be so hard on him because, frankly, it looks like you're the one who needs to look at themselves. Black and white thinking is a skewed view of the world that not only falsifies your current situation but leaves you unable to compromise in the future. If you don't lead with the heart, nothing else matters. The wisest and most graceful thing to do is admit defeat and walk away.
Let's take a closer look at your nice expression of regret and longing. He's that closed to you that you have to write here to say things you should be able to say directly? Isn't it nice to know you just make yourself another demanding person in his world? If Hoy wanted an LTR and made that clear from the start, why didn't you back out when you could see his true motives?
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time but you go on to express how there are no grey areas for you, it's all black or white? You're leaving all the answers up to the other person?
If he gave you his answer to whatever your question, and you're sure it's final, you should respect it and yourself and not make statements on here because, no matter how wistful, you look just a bit controlling. Maybe also try looking at your own motives. Whatever his problem is with expressing emotions, most men disassociate, it helps them function in the brutally demanding world they live in.
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The part about thinking instead of feeling.
That's a terrible way to go through life. Why post otherwise?
If you continue to make that false distinction, you will never find another relationship that may be satisfying. You're not working together on it?