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But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things?

Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a d sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics. But the thing is, even when it's not with someone new, I struggle with making the right decisions about sex.

How do I know I'm having sex for the right reasons? A: Sex is a complicated act, and there are a ton of different factors that influence our decisions. Below are some common traps women Byers CO bi horney housewifes to fall into when it comes to having sex for some not-so-great reasons.

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A lot of women tell me they have sex with their boyfriends or husbands just to keep them happy. YOU get to make choices about your body based on what feels right for you.

Ever had sex with someone because you felt sorry for them? That guy at the bar who poured his heart out to you about his girlfriend leaving him for another man?

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That friend of yours who Adult seeking hot sex Antioch her —unrequited — love for you and pleaded for a chance? Caregiver complex strikes again! Feeling pity for someone is definitely not a good reason to have sex with them. There are plenty of people out there willing to take advantage of this hesitance by pressuring or even forcing you to go further than you want.

Whether or not sex is addictive is an extremely complex question that is being hotly debated in academia and the media. Whether or not we define it as an addiction akin to alcoholism, most experts agree that some people feel compelled If you need a job have sex.

This pull can feel stronger that simply feeling an authentic desire to have sex; it can feel more like something you have to do to make yourself feel better at that moment. You may also want to consider talking to an expert to explore your relationship Beautiful wants sex tonight Norfolk sex.

Like I mentioned last weektrying to use sex to turn casual dating into a serious relationship is never a good idea. Neither is using sex to get gifts, promotions, or favors. All of us Women want sex Chapel Hill isolated and alone from time to time. Sex can be a good temporary mood-booster those endorphins are powerful!

Sharing your body with another person should be fun and joyous, not a twisted plot line straight out of a bad Housewives looking sex tonight Phoenix Arizona. OK, so now that we've gotten some of the not-so-good reasons to have sex out of the way, here are five questions you can ask yourself when you're still on the fence.

Are you drunk, high, emotional, or exhausted? Are you ignoring your intuition?

Those would all be red flags. The Golden Rule is just as important when it comes to sex.

If you want your partner to treat you kindly, treat him or her with that same kindness. Good luck! By Vanessa Marin. The not-so-great reasons for having sex.